09 June 2009

Good Ideas













"I was drunk and I thought it was a good idea." I keep hearing this phrase when I read the Citizen (KW's newspaper) crime reports. I imagine this was what the man that jumped off of a cruise ship said, long after the annoyance of all the passengers who missed their mangrove kayak tours wore off. Perhaps the guy who lost his black oxford in the ocean (found by a sour faced old lady in the morning) said the same thing after he went in forgetting he had shoes on, or threw his shoe at the ocean in protest, or...

I cannot stop laughing at some of the "I thought it was a good idea" moments (and there are a lot around here): trying to fight off the sheriff deputies with a sword (unleashing his inner pirate?); welcoming the new year by hitting another man over the head with a champagne bottle (I guess a kiss may or may not have resulted in the other guy hitting him, preemptive, right?); 98 people joining a 100 person bar brawl (I am assuming only two people actually knew what they were fighting about). Anyone who tells you that there is no thought going on just before these decisions are made is wrong. There absolutely is thought, just very impaired thought. Thought that leads to a sudden realization that you are a super hero and you are only now figuring this out. And, of course, you need to test out your super hero powers.

Walking home in the heat from an evening out, I had a good idea. I was not drunk, just increasingly hot and annoyed that I had to walk three miles back in the heat just to avoid the possibility of a DUI. After just two drinks, technically, my blood alcohol level would be close to or above the legal limit, even if I am fine to drive. So, either I stick to one drink, or we walk. Brad won't drink at all if he's going to drive - probably the best approach, but not my approach (maybe because I am always the one that has to drive). I thought, why suffer through the heat all the way home, and instead ride bicycles. Great idea, right? Everyone rides bikes around town.

Apparently, drinking and cycling is illegal - almost everywhere. It is still considered driving under the influence, or driving while intoxicated, depending on where you live. So, we're now in the same situation as before. Either we walk or we drive. But, there is a parking problem in Old Town - there is none.

So, what if the DD rides the bike, and the other simply rides on the back? It is after all just a few miles. Still illegal? Probably... a safety issue, or something like that. What about a tandem bike? Does the drunk on the back still get a ticket? "But, officer, I wasn't pedaling." Frankly, the one in control of the bike (the one steering), not the idiot on the back sticking his legs out (because you know it's going to happen), should be the determining factor. I don't see passengers getting DUIs even when they are doing things that will end with the phrase "I was drunk and I thought it was a good idea" the next morning.

Or, to make it all easier, we could just drive and I can stick to one drink...
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